Relevant Leadership Blog

The Commitment Scale

    As a young entrepreneur I had a mentor who used to tell me, “If you treat your business casually, you will become a casualty of your business.” This advice has stuck with me for nearly 20 years and with time I have found it to be applicable in many areas beyond business. If you treat your health causally, you will become a casualty. If you treat your personal and professional growth casually, you will become a casualty. If you treat your marriage casually, you will become a casualty. If you treat parenting casually, then your kids will become

Read More »

If You Don’t Express It, You Can’t Expect It

Last week I was helping my friend Sydne Jacques prepare her speech that she is giving this week. One of the lines in her speech that stuck out to me was, “If you don’t express it, you can’t expect it” I love the way Sydne explained it. She said: “Often in our lives both at home and at work expectations change and we don’t talk about it. We need to learn to talk about expectations because I’m convinced 98% of the time that you are sad, mad or frustrated it’s because you expected somebody to do something but they either

Read More »

How To Get Free Popcorn

One of the best strategies I know to win with people is to focus on being interested, not interesting. The problem with being interesting is that it’s all about you. But being interested is all about the other person. It’s where influence comes from. It’s placing other people’s interests first. People who are interested know how valuable it is for relationships and friendships to let the other person talk. They listen more than they talk. They allow others to share ideas and opinions. They make people feel welcome, involved and appreciated. I have taught this idea for more than 10

Read More »

Listening Equals Love

Have you ever heard or read a quote that made you stop & ask to hear it again?   Yesterday that happened with this quote by David Augsburger: “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.”   Isn’t that powerful?!   Listening is a skill we all need to work on. Whether it’s in leadership, in relationships, in friendships or parenthood – we can probably all improve in this area.   Especially at a time of crisis when people are hurting, confused, anxious & scared, they need to feel loved (in

Read More »

Influence and Charisma

We all know someone who is charismatic. They have a charm that can inspire devotion in others. My question is: What creates that type of Charisma? What produces that type of presence? One of the biggest keys to influence and charisma is being genuinely happy for other people’s success. When someone achieves something great – do you feel threatened by their success or do you celebrate it? One of the surest signs of someone being comfortable in their own skin is how they see others and how they can separate others experiences and achievements from their own. Too many people

Read More »

At The End of The Day – What Matters Most?

In my personal reading I came across some information about some beliefs of Ancient Egyptians. I found it all very interesting, but I was struck by their belief about what happens when you die. The Ancient Egyptians had a belief that when you died you were met at the gates of heaven and asked two questions. Your answers determined whether you were let into heaven or not. The two questions are these: 1. Did you experience pure joy in your life? 2. Did your life bring joy to others? At the end of the day, the answers to those two

Read More »

Leadership & Mindfulness

Have you ever received a phone call from a spouse or a child telling you they wrecked a car? How did you react? Was your first question – Are you ok? Or was your initial reaction frustration? Be honest. . Here’s the truth. It’s ok if you felt frustration or thought “why in the world”, it’s human nature, but it’s probably not best if you said it out loud. . Learning to listen to your thoughts & choose how you want to act is the practice of mindfulness. Learning to control your emotions is a skill that is developed through

Read More »

What Type of a Thinker Are You?

Our mindset, the way we approach life, the way we think about the world around us dictates so much of our happiness. In the book, Supercoach, author Michael Neill outlines three different types of thinking – Acquisition-based thinking places the power outside us in the visible physical world. If we want some of that power for ourselves, we need to go out and get it. When we don’t get what we want, it’s either because the world is rigged against people like us or we just aren’t trying hard enough. Attraction-based thinking places the power outside us in the invisible

Read More »

It’s You Vs You Not You Vs Them

On Monday I shared the stage with Rachel Hollis (author of Girl, Wash Your Face & Girl, Stop Apologizing) speaking to a group of entrepreneurs in Michigan. If you don’t know Rachel Hollis, you have probably been living under a rock, but you should check her out.   On Monday she opened the conference and shared some thoughts that I think are worth passing along.   Rachel started by saying “what got you here, will not get you there.”   You have probably heard that saying before but, because it is a trite phrase, I wonder if you have considered

Read More »

One & A Half

This summer we have had a 19-year-old family friend living with us. As people have heard he was living with us I’ve had numerous people ask skeptically, “How is that?” The honest answer is that it has been amazing! Brigham has been fun. Our kids love him. And the reason it has worked and we have enjoyed having him is because he is helpful. He is always willing to help. He looks for opportunities to pitch in. He jumps up when something needs done. I complimented him about this by saying, “You carry your weight.” And he said, “No, you

Read More »