Relevant Leadership Blog

If You Don’t Express It, You Can’t Expect It

Last week I was helping my friend Sydne Jacques prepare her speech that she is giving this week. One of the lines in her speech that stuck out to me was, “If you don’t express it, you can’t expect it” I love the way Sydne explained it. She said: “Often in our lives both at home and at work expectations change and we don’t talk about it. We need to learn to talk about expectations because I’m convinced 98% of the time that you are sad, mad or frustrated it’s because you expected somebody to do something but they either

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How To Get Free Popcorn

One of the best strategies I know to win with people is to focus on being interested, not interesting. The problem with being interesting is that it’s all about you. But being interested is all about the other person. It’s where influence comes from. It’s placing other people’s interests first. People who are interested know how valuable it is for relationships and friendships to let the other person talk. They listen more than they talk. They allow others to share ideas and opinions. They make people feel welcome, involved and appreciated. I have taught this idea for more than 10

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Outward Thinking

This is going to seem like a parent brag and maybe it is, but my kids seem to teach me much more than I teach them and I hope this will inspire you too. Last week Lizzy (who is 7) competed in a Ninja Warrior competition. There were five girls who competed in her age group and Lizzy did great and ended up taking 2nd place. 1st Place got $50, 2nd Place got $20 and 3rd Place got $10. When they brought up all five girls, Lizzy and Maisey (who got 1st) realized that the girls in 4th and 5th

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What Is Your Floor Goal?

  Have you hear of floor/ceiling goals? Most people set ceiling goals. It is the pinnacle of what you want to achieve (the ceiling). The problem is we swing for the fences but often strike out. Goals should be about progress (base hits to carry on the analogy) and so I’ve started setting floor goals as well as ceiling goals. The floor goal is the minimum I’m committing to that still creates progress. As an example – one year ago today, after being inspired by my friend, Jim Cathcart, I committed to doing 100 pushups every day. That is my

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Do You Know Your Value?

I love the lesson this little story teaches A father said to his daughter “You graduated with honors, here is a car I acquired many years ago. It is several years old. But before I give it to you, take it to the used car lot downtown and tell them I want to sell it and see how much they offer you. The daughter went to the used car lot, returned to her father and said, “They offered me $1,000 because it looks very worn out.” The father said, ”Take him to the pawnshop.” The daughter went to the pawnshop,

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Listening Equals Love

Have you ever heard or read a quote that made you stop & ask to hear it again?   Yesterday that happened with this quote by David Augsburger: “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.”   Isn’t that powerful?!   Listening is a skill we all need to work on. Whether it’s in leadership, in relationships, in friendships or parenthood – we can probably all improve in this area.   Especially at a time of crisis when people are hurting, confused, anxious & scared, they need to feel loved (in

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We’re All In This Together

My mind has gone back to this story several times in the last couple of weeks. Several years ago, my friend Cindy and her kids noticed that two robins had built a nest in one of their trees. As they paid attention to the robins’ activity they realized there were eggs in the nest. Those eggs soon hatched four baby birds. Cindy and her kids took ownership of the baby birds. They loved to watch them and would check on their condition regularly. Then one day as Cindy was putting clothes away in one of the kid’s rooms – she

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Resilience

La Masia, the Barcelona youth academy who is consistently recognized as being the best academy in the world to train champion soccer players, said that the number one predictor of success is resilience. This last week has been one of the crazier weeks in history. I am sure your life has been turned upside down, as has mine. There are things that are unknown, constantly changing and we’ve probably felt more anxiety and fear than ever before. But, simultaneously I also believe in the human capacity to be resilient. Resilience is defined as the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties.

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Influence and Charisma

We all know someone who is charismatic. They have a charm that can inspire devotion in others. My question is: What creates that type of Charisma? What produces that type of presence? One of the biggest keys to influence and charisma is being genuinely happy for other people’s success. When someone achieves something great – do you feel threatened by their success or do you celebrate it? One of the surest signs of someone being comfortable in their own skin is how they see others and how they can separate others experiences and achievements from their own. Too many people

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At The End of The Day – What Matters Most?

In my personal reading I came across some information about some beliefs of Ancient Egyptians. I found it all very interesting, but I was struck by their belief about what happens when you die. The Ancient Egyptians had a belief that when you died you were met at the gates of heaven and asked two questions. Your answers determined whether you were let into heaven or not. The two questions are these: 1. Did you experience pure joy in your life? 2. Did your life bring joy to others? At the end of the day, the answers to those two

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