Yesterday we hosted our Leadership Inc Institute and the trainer was Neil Staker.
We spent the day talking about collaboration and communication – it was great.
One of the points that stood out to me was that when it comes to dealing with people, our motives are more important than our behavior.
Why? Because better motives lead to better collaboration.
Even when we behave correctly (do the right things) if our motives are off, it can impact how it’s received and therefore the outcome.
Here are some examples:
- Offering advice under the guise of being helpful when you’re really just annoyed.
- Doing a job for others because you don’t trust them or are tired of waiting.
- Acting polite or supportive in front of people, only to criticize them or their ideas later.
- Asking questions that have more to do with undermining than understanding.
Are you guilty of any of these?
What are your motives?
I think your examples are spot on. We often like to think we can mask our feelings when we forget that tone, facial expressions and body language are forms of communication.