In any relationship we are building, we keep an internal score sheet. In the healthiest relationships, both sides strive to keep the score even. No one wants to feel like predators or prey. We subconsciously or even consciously keep track of the exchange of favors in relationships. Being conscious of this can help you going into any relationship, personal or business.
If we are mentally keeping score, making sure we aren’t in the red, or too far in the black, you come across as a more likeable person and can build better and more balanced relationships. People hate feeling guilty and they also hate feeling taken advantage of. When we are keeping track of the internal score card of our relationship, we can be assured that neither party will feel out of sorts.
Walster, Walster and Berscheild in their 1978 study proposed the theory of equal relationships, showing how our internal score card is not only human nature, but very beneficial to building and maintaining good relationships. People getting too much or too little causes distress and tension, so creating an equal balance of give and take is how we ensure we are making the most of our relationships.
Do you keep score?