One of The Biggest Keys to Influence & Charisma

  We all know someone who is charismatic. They have a charm that can inspire devotion in others. My question is: What creates that type of Charisma? What produces that type of presence? One of the biggest keys to influence and charisma is being genuinely happy for other people’s success. When someone achieves something great – do you feel threatened by their success or do you celebrate it? One of the surest signs of someone being comfortable in their own skin is how they see others and how they can separate others experiences and achievements from their own. Too many people subscribe to the idea that tearing others down actually builds you up and it’s just not true. It makes you look weak and insecure because that is where it is actually coming from. People who are secure with who they are genuinely happy for others, they celebrate their success
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Kindness Is A Better Game Plan

I could write this from a human decency standpoint and help you to see that we should be kinder to each other and extol the virtues of living this way but I also know that the people who need to read this are thinking what’s in it for me. So let me tell you why kindness is a strategy that will make you more influential. In other words – it’s a better game plan. Last week I got stuck in the middle of the chaos of Delta’s worldwide computer system going down. I was flying through Atlanta on my way to Boston. We landed at 7:30 and because of the system failure we couldn’t pull into the gate. We sat on the tarmac until 10:30 pm, there were hundreds of planes that were in our same boat so once they got the system back online it took quite a while
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If You Want To Communicate With Influence – Then Use This Phrase

When you’re the leader, the one in charge, it’s far more natural – and far easier – to lecture and command than to discuss and invite. Leaders can create caste systems within their organizations simply by language choices. When they refer to “we” as the leadership team and “you” as the employees, they create a separation in the team. If we want our people to feel like they are in a partnership with us, that we are in it together, that we are locking arms with them to accomplish the overall goal of organizational success, then we need to communicate in a way that creates partnership. The ultimate partner phrase is: “If I, will you …” Examples: “If I set aside time to help fine tune your board presentations, will you have it prepared by Friday to review?” “If I let you choose your people, will you head up the project?” “If
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The Power of a Name

There’s a new dry cleaner in my neighborhood. I went there a couple of times and then I’ve been out of town for the past month or so and I just went for the third time and as I walked in the guy working said “Ty Bennett, right?” And it surprised me.  I told him I was impressed with his ability to remember names.  He played off the complement, but was very interactive and personable during my visit. It reminded me how powerful a name was and where I learned that lesson. A few years ago I had a speech in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  I flew in late and got to the hotel.  I asked if the restaurant at the hotel was open and they said that it wasn’t. They said that there was a Panera Bread down the street that I could walk to that would still be open. So
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A Success Secret From The Navy Seals

On May 2, 2011, a group of Navy Seals stormed a compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, successfully completing their operations of killing Osama Bin Laden.  Since that day, it seems that the world has been fascinated with the Navy Seals, and rightfully so. There have been multiple best selling books like No Easy Day and Fearless and some big blockbusters like Lone Survivor and Zero Dark Thirty that have ridden the tide of public interest in the mystery that is the Navy Seals.  Everyone wants to better understand what makes this group so successful. My personal fascination began last year when I had the privilege of sharing the stage with Kevin Lacz.  Lacz is a former Navy Seal sniper, breacher and and combat medic. Since meeting him, I have read multiple books and studied more about their operations. One of the success secrets of the Seals is learning to get very
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People Support What They Help Create

One of the key lessons I teach leaders is that – People Support What They Help Create. Our world has changed, and rapidly. Fifteen years ago, if you wanted your voice to be heard, you pretty much only believed it was heard if you held a position of leadership. Social media has changed all that and I don’t mean just because people have Facebook or Twitter or LinkedIn where they can go and voice their opinion. It has changed the psyche of our world. It has caused everyone to feel like his or her voice should be heard. Regardless of where people are in your organization, they mentally believe that their voice and their opinion matters. As a result, our top-down directives don’t work the same way they used to. We can’t just throw things at people and expect them to jump on it, to run with it, and go for
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Service Makes You Happier

One of the reasons that I love the Holiday Season is because of all of the good that is done in the world. We focus on others, serve those around us and look for ways to help. When I was in high school, I decided that our DECA club needed to do something that brought us together and provided service. As we discussed it, one of the girls suggested we provide Christmas for a family who needed it. We all got on board, soliciting donations, money, and food. With a monumental effort, we showed up Christmas Eve at the front door of a tiny home in downtown Denver with three SUV’s packed full of Christmas. We had toys, candy and clothes for the four kids, food to fill their pantry, and some money for the parents. As we brought in the first presents I set them down next to a
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Be An Optimist

As I have studied successful people, one of the common traits I find is optimism. Not naive or overdone – just a positive approach to life, leadership, challenges, and what is possible. Those who believe in positive results think the world looks bright.  They see the good in things and not just the bad. They carry a smile on their face instead of a frown. Author John Maxwell said, “A pessimist is a person who regardless of the present is disappointed in the future.” An optimist then is a person who regardless of the present is excited about the future. The world is full of pessimists. We are conditioned to be negative and cynical. I find it interesting that very few people would admit to being negative. They use the excuse that they are “realists” not “pessimists”. The problem with that is reality is based on perception. We create our
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Investments Lead To Stories

Investments in people lead to stories. And the stories that are told invariably build the influence and reputation of the one doing the investing.   Think about it: -When you have exceptional service at a restaurant, what do you do? You tell the story. -When your boss does something extra special for you, what do you do? You tell the story. -When a friend goes out of their way to help you, what do you do? You tell the story. We love it when someone invests in us by providing exceptional attention and service, and because it is so unexpected or unusual, we almost always share.   One of my clients is Subway. I speak to their franchisees and managers quite often and when I do I always share a simple experience to illustrate this point. I was eating in a subway once in the middle of the afternoon and
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Litmus Test

Below are 12 questions you can ask yourself. They will help you to see whether your thinking is inward or outward, selfish or selfless. They are not designed to make you feel bad. Rather, they should help you stop and really analyze your thinking and your motives. Be honest with yourself. We can all improve our thinking. These questions will help you accurately assess where you are and in what areas you can improve.  In sales do you A) care more about the commission you make or B) more about the customer?  In leadership do you A) place blame or B) praise your people?  Do you A) feel threatened by the success of others or B) celebrate their triumphs?  In relationships do you A) try and change others or B) try to make yourself better?  In relationships do you A) want to win or B) do you want win-win?  When
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