Hello, and welcome to the Redefining High Performance Podcast. My name is Ty Bennett, and if you were here last week, you know that we started a series, a three-part series. This is part number two on how we build connection. Our research on high performance showed a strong undertone of connection. Connection’s important, it’s important for us as leaders, it’s important for us as we navigate working with teams, it’s important for us within organizations.
I think it’s important for us as humans to be able to build connection real, genuine connection. And so last week, we talked about focusing on being interested, not interesting. If you haven’t listened to that, go back and listen to it. It’s about 8 minutes long, quick, hard-hitting. Practical takeaways and how you can interact with people in a way that. Garner’s deeper, genuine connection, builds better influence, has bigger impact. And today, I want to share one more of these strategies with you, and this is the idea of investing in people.
This is an idea that has helped me immensely, personally and professionally. I’ve taught this idea to hundreds of thousands of leaders in live presentations. I’ve written about it, and it seems simple, but I think it’s… that’s where the power lies So, I was introduced to this idea as a senior in high school. I was involved in a business program that’s called DECA. You might be familiar with DECA, maybe not, but DEC is a program where high school and college students from around the country compete in business competitions. First at the district level, then at state, and eventually at nationals.
And there’s lots of different categories that you can choose from. There’s things like quick-serve restaurant, or hotel management. I chose to compete in the entrepreneurship category, which meant that I had to conceive of a business, I wrote out a business plan, and I presented it to judges who were acting as venture capitalists trying to convince them to invest in my business. So this was like a non-TV version of Shark Tank, if you’ve ever seen that show.
So, I grew up in Colorado, I went to the district competition in the area where I lived, I competed, and I won the district competition which qualified me for the state competition, which that year was held at the Broadmoor Resort in Colorado Springs. Cool place, fun experience. I went and I competed. And I ended up winning the state competition. Which qualified me then for the national competition, which that year was held in Louisville, Kentucky. We went through the process of the national competition. They took the top 100 to Nationals, the top two from every state. And the first round, they cut the top 100 down to the top 50, and I made it through. And the second round, they took the top 50 and cut it down to the top 15. The finalists, and they called you out name by name, and I don’t know if it was random, or if I just squeaked in, but I literally was the 15th name.
So we went and presented to the judges one final time. Now, I don’t… now I give presentations for a living. I don’t know if you’ve ever had the experience of giving the same presentation over and over and over again. I’ve given this so many times to my friends, to my teachers in the mirror at districts and states, etc. But I’m telling you, if there was ever a perfect presentation, this final one was it. It was so good. The judges were engaged, they laughed at my questions, or they asked good questions, they laughed at my jokes. Everything went unbelievable. And I left thinking I just won. I mean, out of 10,000 kids that compete in this category, Nationals down to the top 100, I think I just won, I knocked it out of the park.
Well, I didn’t. I took second. And I’m sure the girl in first place to you, I still can’t prove it still to today, I’m just joking, but… You know what’s interesting about that whole experience?
Not the competition, that was fun. It was fun to be part of. But the lesson that has stuck with me, and that will always stick with me, was what happened right at the end of that final presentation. I’m across the table from three judges. The head judge, who’s a prominent businessman from Louisville, he walks around the table with his business card in hand. And he hands it to me, and he goes, Ty. That was really impressive. I want you to call me, because I want to invest in you.
Now, as an 18-year-old kid, I kind of laughed. I was flattered, but… I went, oh shoot, uh, I hope this doesn’t affect my score. I don’t know if I’m actually going to start this business. You see, it was just a competition. I didn’t know if I was really gonna do it. And then he said something that… I don’t think I fully understood at the time. He said, that’s okay. He said, I’ve found that I get my highest return on investment when I invest in people. And I want to invest in you. You see as an 18-year-old kid, when I heard the word invest, the only thing that came to mind for me was money.
But the more I’ve thought about it. I don’t think that’s what he meant. Because when you invest in people, think about it, what do you invest? You invest time, you invest care, you invest understanding, you invest yourself. Investments in people, they’re probably not in your job description, but these are the little things where you go above and beyond, and these things matter. They change the nature of relationships. I bet everybody who’s listening to this, if we were to pause for just a second, and I were to ask you who’s somebody who’s invested in you? You could think of somebody, a boss, a friend, a teacher, a neighbor, a co-worker, somebody.
Here’s my question. You have that person in your mind? If that person called you today, and they said, I need your help would you not move heaven and earth to help them? You see, I would call that influence. Because that’s what happens when you invest in people, you grow your influence.
If we want to build real connection I think investing in people should be a daily. Practice. It should be something that we do all of the time. And it doesn’t have to be big things, it can just be intentional things, things that matter, reaching out to people without an agenda. Remembering important things for them, like. There are so many ways to do this. What it triggers is it triggers the law of reciprocity. We’ve all heard a lot of reciprocity before, right? It means that you want to reciprocate. If somebody does something nice, you want to do something nice back. If somebody punches you in the face, you want to punch them back, right? Like, it’s kind of how we’re wired.
I’ll give you an example. Have you ever received a birthday present? Somebody you didn’t really know? Were you like, ah, crap. When’s your birthday, right? Because then you feel obligated. You have to get them a birthday present now, too.
One of my favorite studies ever, there was a social scientist named Robert Cialdini, who wrote the book Influence. And he was studying the law of reciprocity, he wanted to measure it. He wanted to see if it worked. And so we had this funny idea. It was November. He pulled open the phone book, and he shows 80 random people out of the phone book. Just 80 total strangers. And he sent them Christmas cards, just 80 random Christmas cards. He just wanted to see what would happen. Guess how many people out of 80 sent Christmas cards back to a total stranger? 62 people out of 80 sent Christmas cards back to a guy they don’t even know. I can only imagine they’re sitting there going. Is this your cousin? Is this my cousin? I don’t know, he sent us one, so we better send him one right?
That’s how it works. When you invest in people. It triggers reciprocity, and so what they do is they want to invest in you. I’ve shared this idea with a lot of leaders, and I want to share quickly.
My favorite story I’ve ever heard. Of a leader investing in one of his people. I was speaking for Delta Airlines, and they brought me into Atlanta. They brought all their airport managers from all around the world, so there’s a couple thousand people in this ballroom. And I gave a speech, and one of the ideas that I shared out of my book, Partnership as New Leadership, is this idea of investing in people. And afterwards, I’m doing a book signing, and one of the leaders, as I was signing his book, he said, Ty, can I share an experience I had investing in one of my people? I said, sure, I’d love to hear it. And he said, my job is I’m a below-wing manager. I said, okay, what does that mean? He said, I… my team’s in charge of everything below the wing. Baggage food, anything that comes globally. He said, I get to work every day at about 5 in the morning, and I go out right away, and I throw bags with my guys. I already like this guy, what a leader, right? He said, I just want to make sure we’re all on the same page, and everybody starts the day off right. So there’s this guy on my team named Tony, and Tony is way too chipper at 5 in the morning. Just, like, annoyingly so. He’s like, come on, guys, and we’re all half asleep, right? He said, there’s one day, though, I’m out there, and Tony’s off. Something’s wrong. Like, you can tell he’s not his normal self, and so I said, Tony, are you okay? And he goes, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it. And so I maybe asked him one more two… or two more times, like, Tony, what’s going on? He goes, don’t worry about it. So this manager study went back to his office, he was working, but he couldn’t get Tony out of his mind, so he called Tony in right before lunch, and he said, Tony, what’s going on? He said, I said, don’t worry about it. He goes, I get that, I heard you it just seems like something really is going on, and… If you want somebody to talk to, I’m here. And Tony sat down, he goes, you really want to hear? And he goes, sure and Tony explained that the night before, he and his wife officially found out they couldn’t have kids. This had been a process, right? Doctors, visits, and tests, and all sorts of things, trying and… emotions and… It’s tough. And at some point, this manager goes, Tony, I’m so sorry, what can I do for you? Tony goes, that’s the problem, you can’t fix it, nobody can fix it, and he got up and he left. And this manager looks at me and he goes, Ty, I had to do something. So the only thing you can think of is he, during lunch, he put together a packet of information on Lutheran adoption services. And he brought this packet to Tony after lunch, and he said, look, I don’t have an agenda, I just want to do something to show you I care, this is the only thing I can think of. And Tony took the packet, and we talked about it. The manager said that about a month later, Tony went back to his annoying chipper self at 5 in the morning. And then, almost a year later, this manager was in his office, Tony knocks on the door one day and says, can I come in? He said, sure. And Tony walked in and put a picture of a little boy on his desk, and he said, I want you to be this boy’s godfather.
And I’m at the back of this ballroom with 3,000 people, and I’m crying, and this guy telling me the story is crying. And he looked at me, and he said, Ty, when you invest in people. They become family. That’s the connection, right? That’s what we’re talking about.
Obviously, some investments are going to be more impactful than others. But my challenge to you this week is to look for ways to invest in people, to go above and beyond. To reach out in ways that you normally wouldn’t. To extend… yourself a little bit more than you normally would. Those investments will create connection. Influence, impact, it will build deeper relationships. With the people around you.
This is part two of this three-part series. Next week, we’re gonna be back and talk about mastering conversational leadership. As a way of building connection. I hope this has been helpful, this is fun to kind of set up this series. Maybe we’ll do more of them. If you enjoyed this, please… give us a rating, give us a review, share this with somebody who maybe, uh, this would benefit, and I look forward to talking to you again next week.