Hello, and welcome to the redefining high performance podcast. My name is Ty Bennett. And in the next couple of minutes, I want to share with you a mindset. This is a mindset of high performers in lots of different walks of life. This is a mindset that I have worked to develop and continue to strive to at times. It’s a mindset that I’ve taught to a lot of different people. And I’m going to share with you what this mindset is. the definition, but also application in lots of different areas because I think it will serve you in many different spaces and also give you examples of kind of how this plays out.
The mindset is what I like to call a relaxed intensity. A relaxed intensity. By definition, let me give you a couple of ideas of what I mean. This is a calm focus with a purposeful drive. It’s not frantic. It’s not passive. You’re in control, but you’re also moving with urgency. It’s fluid. It’s not stiff. Think of like a sprinter whose face looks calm, but their body is moving at max effort. Okay. You’re in control. You’re not in conflict. It’s the sweet spot between confidence and pressure. I call it a relaxed intensity.
Let me give you a really simple way to think about this or a good way to think about this. So my sons Tanner and Drew, they compete in the sport of Ninja Warrior. We actually own two Ninja Warrior gyms. So they are often competing all over the country and we host Ninja Warrior competitions. Well, when you go to a Ninja Warrior competition, they lay out a course. Let’s say the course has 10 obstacles. The first criteria that you’re judged is based off of points, meaning obstacle completion. So if you get 10 out of 10, you full clear the course, that’s the most points you can get. If you get 7 out of 10, however it ends up being. The second criteria is speed or efficiency. So if you get 10 points and I get 10 points, then whichever one of us got through the course faster would be the winner of that course. Now you might be wondering, okay, I don’t do Ninja, that’s fine. But I want you to understand, if the goal is to move through that course completing the obstacles first, but then as quickly as possible, then the mindset, the mentality, the approach is what I call a relaxed intensity. How do you do that? You’re fluid, you’re not frantic. You’re moving as quickly as possible, but you’re in control. Right on the course, rushing leads to slips, hesitation might lead to timing out, The sweet spot is that relaxed intensity. It’s eyes forward, it’s controlling your breathing, it’s efficient body movement. The athletes who are succeeding, they’re not flailing about. They’re smooth, they’re fluid, even in some of the most chaotic situations or obstacles. In ninja, we call this state flow. And when you watch a ninja who’s flowing, it’s beautiful. It’s fantastic. Now, That mentality doesn’t just apply to ninja.
You could apply it in other sports. Think about a very famous tennis player, Roger Federer. He was known for having a very fluid game. He wasn’t hacky. He was very fluid. Even under extreme pressure, he looked like he was gliding. Never grimacing, never frantic. It just was fluid. It was a relaxed intensity. Take the GOAT of basketball, Michael Jordan, and in clutch moments, he didn’t just try harder, he actually slowed the game down in his mind. And that calm intensity allowed precision under pressure.
Now, this isn’t just a mentality for sports because it can be applied in lots of different areas. Let’s take, you know, driving a car. Like if you were racing a car, okay, this is maybe a sports analogy, but if you are racing a car, If you grip the wheel too tightly, you’ll overcorrect and you’ll crash. But if you’re too loose, you’ll lose control. So the best drivers, they hold firm, but there’s fluidity in it. Let’s take public speaking, right? This is what I do for a living. And I’ve watched speakers who are overhyped. They come in with too much energy and it’s, it’s just not real. It’s all, and it’s not, you can’t connect with it. It’s not sustainable. But if you’re too chill, you’re boring to the audience. And so the best speakers, they’re alive, they’re energetic, but in a way that feels natural, not forced. They feel comfortable in their own skin. I would call that a relaxed intensity.
Let’s apply this to business. In sales, customers, they sense desperation. So if you push too hard, you repel them. A relaxed intensity means that you confidently guide them toward a decision with conviction, but without pressure. It feels natural and almost magnetic, right? Coming into a sales situation, you obviously have an agenda. You have something, an outcome that you want, and you’re trying to move people to action. But how do you do that and still do it in an attractive, a magnetic, an influential way? One of my speaker buddies, an author, his name’s Phil Jones. He’s written incredible books, including the book, Exactly What to Say. His definition of sales is earning the right to make a recommendation. So when you sit down and you ask some of those questions, you can eventually get to that place where you say, you know what, John, because you said A, B, and C, what I would recommend is X, Y, and Z. And there’s a confidence in it, but there’s a connection that’s taking place. It’s a relaxed intensity.
Let’s look at it from a leadership standpoint because leaders who are frantic, what do they create in their people? I’d say they create anxiety. But on the flip side, if you’re disengaged, you create apathy. So a relaxed intensity means that you’re steady, you’re present, and you’re proactive. Your team both feels safe and driven. That’s a balance that we have to find as leaders to be able to create that psychological safety, but also that ambitious drive. That’s a relaxed intensity.
Let’s apply this to parenting, right? I don’t know if you have kids, I have five. Kids don’t respond well to frantic correction, but also not to disengagement, right? If as a parent, I’m a helicopter parent, just correcting everything that they say, that’s not gonna go over well. if I’m disengaged and is sitting on my phone and don’t pay attention, that’s not going to do anything either. I think the sweet spot is that calm authority paired with energy. Again, it’s a relaxed intensity.
I hope that as you think about this mindset that you start to think about how do I show up in whatever realm, right? Maybe it’s sports, maybe it’s sales, maybe it’s leadership, maybe it’s parenting, Maybe it’s driving a car. Maybe it’s giving a speech. But this idea of a relaxed intensity, it’s a calm focus with purposeful drive. It’s not frantic, but it’s not passive. It’s fluid. There’s a sense of urgency without coming across as desperate or pushing too hard. It’s that sweet spot between confidence and pressure. That’s the goal this week. High performers, they develop this mindset. They show up with a relaxed intensity. It’s attractive. It allows people to connect with them, but it also allows them to push things forward. So this week, that’s the goal, a relaxed intensity. Thank you for listening. I hope this has been helpful. If this resonated with you, this is a unique idea, this idea of a relaxed intensity. Share this with somebody that you think would benefit from this concept, this mindset, just send them this podcast link and say, hey, take a listen to this. It’s nine minutes long. It’s quick, but this is a unique idea. Subscribe, rate, and review. That’s always helpful. I appreciate you listening, and I will be back again next week.