My name is Ty Bennett, and I’m excited to be with you today as I share another quick segment in our series on storytelling.
Last week, we talked about storytelling and the mindset that goes into it. I believe storytelling is one of the most underrated skills in business. Stories move people, stories connect people. And it’s a skill that allows us to perform at higher levels, whether that’s in sales, in leadership, in just overall communication and connection with people. And so, last week we dove into the mindset. Kind of, how did you come into those conversations and prepare yourself to be able to share stories that really are effective. Today, I want to break down the skill set of storytelling, the formulas, the understanding of what stories are.
So let’s start there. There’s a definition of stories that I love, that says that a story is a re-imagined experience, narrated with enough detail and feeling to cause your listener’s imagination to experience it as real. Think about that for just a minute. We don’t tell a story for us, we tell a story for them. So if I can tell a story in a way that engages you mentally, emotionally, that you can picture it in your mind, then you are more likely to act on it, to take the takeaway of that story. Whether that’s to buy my product or to adopt this idea, or to change your perspective, whatever the purpose of the story may be.
So, let me give you a quick science lesson. There are cells in our brains that are called mirror neurons. Mirror neurons are incredible. They allow you and I as human beings to actually feel and experience other people’s intentions and emotions.
That might sound kind of sci-fi, but that’s actually how we feel empathy and intuition. So here’s what that means from a storytelling perspective. If I can tell a story in a way that activates the mirror neurons in your brain.
then you are feeling and experiencing that story as if it were happening to you. We’ve all had this experience before. You’ve probably heard a friend tell a story where you’re on the edge of your seat, or it gets you emotional, you feel it deeply. Or you’ve gone to a movie, and you’ve sat there, and you’ve had that visceral experience, right? That’s what a story can do to you if it’s activating those mirror neurons. So here’s the foundation for influential storytelling and this is – If we want people to experience the story with us then you don’t retell a story. You relive a story. You don’t retell a story, you relive a story, because when you relive a story, you automatically invite people in to relive it with you. It’s a different experience. So the question that I get from people then is, okay, how do you relive a story? Well, there’s lots of ways in which we can do that.
I want to give you 3 specific techniques right now that will allow you to bring the audience into the story so that they can relive it with you. The first is I want you to create curiosity. Curiosity as a storyteller’s best friend, because whether we think this consciously or not, when I’m listening to your story, I have a question in my mind, and the question is why do I care? Right? What’s in it for me? Here’s the truth. And this is kind of a hard truth. Nobody cares about your story.
Not even your mom. Like, nobody at all. Unless they see how it pertains to them, right? How does your story matter in my life? And if that’s clear, then yeah, I’m going to pay attention, I’m going to focus. So, the way that you do that is on the front end of the story you ask a You-focused question. A you-focused question means the word you is in the question. You might say something like, have you ever had this experience? Right, you’re finding a connection point. Where they say, yeah, all the time. What you’re gonna do, the technique is this, you’re gonna tap into their world with a question. And then you’re gonna bring them into your world with a story.
There’s some people who just jump into a story, they’re like, it was a cold November night. And that feels awkward to me, especially in most conversations that we’re talking about, like a business conversation, or just interacting with somebody in a leadership situation, or whatever it is. But if we have some dialogue, if I say, hey, how often do you experience this? Oh, all the time. Interesting, because boom, and now I’m going to bring you into my story. Right? It’s just a simple little technique.
Now, the second technique is I want to place them in the scene. I want to help them to see it and picture it around them. I can do this one of two ways. I can say, imagine being here. Or if you had been here when? See, if I physically place you in the scene, then you start to picture it, you start to see it. And we think in images. We want them to co-create the scene. This is the reason why, if you’ve, like, read a book and then you go see the movie, sometimes you’re disappointed in the movie because you had a different picture in your mind. Well, it’s because you were in the scene. So, I could do that. Let me give you an example. I could say if you had been sitting in my office with me the first time I ever had to interview somebody. I don’t know if you’ve ever interviewed somebody before, but I was so nervous. I’m sitting behind my desk, my knees are shaking, the person’s walking in, I still don’t even know what I’m going to ask them. Okay, pause for just a second. What are you picturing? Are you picturing me? Behind a desk, in an office, the person approaching, right? Like, all I had to do is just add that little line of text where I said, if you have been sitting in my office with me. Okay, so that’s the second technique, is place them in the scene.
The third is to reinforce relatability. You reinforce relatability by having a conversational tone in the way that you speak.
You say things like. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced that before. What would you do in that situation? It’s like you’re right here in the story, and for just a second, you’re gonna step out, and you’re gonna just touch base with them. Which is a little conversational question. Has that ever happened to you? How would you handle that? And in that, you’re connecting, you’re kind of throwing the story back on them. So, if you take your story, and in the front end, you ask a U-focus question.
And then as you get into it, you place them in the scene. Say, imagine being here. If you had been here when? And once or twice, you reinforce that relatability. All of a sudden, they’re experiencing the story differently. That makes sense.
So, let me give you my number one rule when it comes to storytelling. My number one rule is this. If it’s not necessary to say,
it becomes necessary not to say. If it’s not necessary to say it becomes necessary not to say. You see, the more concise we are, the more compelling it becomes. This is where it takes a little bit of work to script and to role-play and to practice it a little bit so that you’re not winging it. Winging it is not a business strategy. The first time you ever tell a story, it’s probably not the very best version of the story. And so, if you’ll spend a little bit of time to craft and to practice and treat this like a skill. Then you can share it in a way that’s compelling.
There’s a model for influential stories. Every model, every story that’s influential follows a model of struggle to solution. Struggle to solution. Here’s how it works. You hook them with the struggle. You help them with the solution. There is something in our bodies, in our DNA that we respond to struggle, to conflict, to challenge, and naturally engages us.
Think about going to a movie this afternoon. Let’s say you’re gonna go to a movie, and you’re excited, and you’ve seen the previews, and it’s supposed to be amazing, and you can’t wait to see it, and you sit down, you’ve got your drink in one hand, your popcorn in the other. And it ends up being about a guy that just merrily skips through life. No ups, no downs, no challenges, no struggle. We would all say, that is the stupidest movie I’ve ever seen, right? What would be the point?
Not very relatable. Here’s the problem, that’s how we tell stories. Especially in business. Almost every business story sounds the same. Think about it. We share stories like this. We say you know what, we’re great, and we’ve always been great, and we’ll always be great. If you work with us, that’d be great, right? Like, what’s the point? You exist to solve problems, there’s a struggle inherent in that. And the struggle is the relatable piece here. You hook them with the struggle, we respond to struggle naturally, and it’s engaging. It’s intriguing.
You want to know where I learned this lesson? My 4-year-old taught me this lesson, I have 5 kids, I’m from Utah. Years ago, my boys used to love me to tell them stories that night and for a while, they were on this Smurfs kick.
I don’t know if you know Smurfs or not, but basic premise of every Smurf story is there’s these little blue people, the Smurfs, who live in a forest. And there’s a bad guy named Gargamel who almost catches him, and they escape. That was the premise of every Smurf story ever told. And I’ve been making up Smurf stories for, like, a month, and I was sick of it. I came back from a trip one night, it was late, I was tired. And my boy’s like, Dad, can we have a smurf story? And I was like, no. I don’t have any more smurf stories, and they’re like, come on, we will never ask you again. Which was a lie. And so I told them the dumbest smurf story ever told. I said, okay, the smurf woke up, and it was Smurfette’s birthday and the Baker guy, he made a cake, and they sang Happy Birthday, okay, go to bed. And my 4-year-old goes that’s not a story, there’s no bad guy. And I said, what? And he goes, without a bad guy, it doesn’t count. I want a real story. And he was right. You see, it was missing the struggle.
If you go back last week, we talked about these weighted scales, finding a balance between credibility and relatability.
Well, if we think about the struggled solution model. If the struggle is relatable, the solution becomes credible.
Meaning, if I connect with the struggle in your story, then I’m gonna beat down your door for the solution, whether that’s your product, your idea, your approach, whatever it is. And so, we need to be willing to be a little bit vulnerable.
Sometimes in our story, to share that struggle. to get to the other side of the solution, we need to be willing to be real. And not just try and come from a position of power, but a position of actual strength where we’ve overcome something, where we’ve solved something, where we deliver a solution when you think about how you craft a story. I want you to think about, is there a struggle to solution? How do I bring them into the scene?
How do I relive and not just retell? I’m telling this story so that they experience, they feel it.
So they’re more likely to act on it. And ultimately, I hope that you take any story that you’re going to tell and you practice it.
We put some work into it. You develop it as a skill and you become better at it. That’s the skill set of storytelling.
Last week, we talked about the mindset. Next week, we’re going to talk about the toolset. I’m gonna bring in some tools that make stories come to life. We’re gonna talk about some of the things that you can do with dialogue and details and metaphors and other things like that. So I love stories. Stories are powerful, they’re meaningful, they’re important. And they can be an influencer’s best friend if you learn how to tell them well.
I hope this helps, and I will talk to you again soon. Thank you so much for listening. Please rate, review, subscribe, share this with somebody. I show up every here every week with these short, quick segments, and every once in a while, we mix in an interview, but we’re going through this series, this three-part series on storytelling. And I hope you’re getting a lot out of it. I will talk to you again next week.