Influence vs Manipulation

This week I was interviewed on a podcast where we talked about influence. One of the questions sparked a conversation around the difference between influence and manipulation. The truth is, while the connotations between these two words are extreme, the difference is subtle. There is an important warning to us as leaders when we purposely use emotions and feelings to influence.  We must check our motivations and desired outcomes.  If our motivations are selfish or our desired outcomes are self-centered, we will find ourselves manipulating not influencing. The fundamental difference between manipulation and influence is intent – intent based in principles of honesty, fairness, and benefit.  If we are honest in our intentions, fair with our expectations, and ensure that outcomes are mutually beneficial, we can be confident in our efforts to influence. I had an interesting experience following a speech that brought this distinction into clear view. After speaking
Continue Reading

What Are Employees Four Basic Needs?

  Last week I spoke at an Employee Benefits Summit that was focused on employee engagement.   I shared a message about how a leader’s approach impacts the commitment & engagement of their people.   I also sat in on some of the other sessions and in one particular session on employee engagement a lot of the research out of the Gallup Poll was shared. One of the key takeaways from the Gallup studies was The Four Basic Needs of Employees.   While we might think these center around fair compensation, flexible schedules, great benefits or a number of very tangible indicators, the research shows that the four basic needs are very intangible: Trust Compassion Stability Hope When I look at this list my mind goes directly to the thought that all four of these needs are met by good leadership. Partnering with your people builds trust, allows you to
Continue Reading

People Learn What They Live and They Live What They Learn

This week I was introduced to a poem that struck a cord with me. As a father I believe this is a powerful lesson for parents. But as a leader and a leadership coach, I think the same principles apply. Last week on my blog I talked about how Leadership & Parenting is similar (Read Here) The truth is we are leading big kids and all people live what they learn and they learn what they live. As you read this poem – I want you to think about how you are leading.   Children Learn What They Live By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D. If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn. If children live with hostility, they learn to fight. If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive. If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves. If children live with ridicule, they
Continue Reading

Parents & Leaders Do 3 Things

  I have four kids. They are 13,11,9 & 6. For my career I speak to companies & write books on leadership. The more I think about it – they are the same thing. Parents & Leaders do three things. Parents help their kids feel: 1. Safe 2. Loved 3. Empowered to reach their potential Leaders help their people feel: 1. Safe 2. Loved 3. Empowered to reach their potential That’s easier said than done but at its core that is it. To help your people feel safe they need to feel important, heard, understood & a part. To feel loved they need to feel like you (their leader) care about them. That you know them. That you think about them. That you listen to them. To feel empowered they need to be taught & trained. They need to be given the opportunity to stretch & to grow – To
Continue Reading

Three Roles of the Entrepreneur

Yesterday I was watching Shark Tank and Daniel Lubetzky, the founder of Kind Bars, was a guest shark. In one of the discussions, he shared something very insightful. He said there are three roles of an entrepreneur. The first is the Creative. First, entrepreneurs need to create their product or service. They brainstorm and determine how to solve problems. The second role is Critic. I think many entrepreneurs miss this phase. They need to be the biggest critic to their plan. Play devil’s advocate. Try to poke holes in it in order to create the best product/service/plan. The third role is Crusader. Once you have a solid approach, your role changes to crusader. You become the most devoted, passionate crusader of your cause and that is what creates momentum and a movement. I’m a big believer that in order to be successful in today’s world we need to think like
Continue Reading